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Odds & Sods

Some scientists propose that instances of physical abnormalities are actually evolution at work. With the autumn crush of festivals and markets kicking off this month, RealScreen got to wondering: what would an alpha event goer look like? We turned to the animal kingdom for the best of the beasts.
September 1, 2003

Some scientists propose that instances of physical abnormalities are actually evolution at work. With the autumn crush of festivals and markets kicking off this month, RealScreen got to wondering: what would an alpha event goer look like? We turned to the animal kingdom for the best of the beasts.

Rabbit ears: Information is valuable. Despite the din of the market floor, producers could pick up the indiscreet ramblings of their colleagues.

Eagle eyes: So broadcasters could see that obnoxious producer from a mile away.

Giraffe’s neck: The party may be crowded, but with a neck three meters long, filmmakers could easily spot that elusive distributor with the deep pockets.

Hippo-tosis: Breakfast, lunch and dinner meetings. After hippos, only whales have bigger mouths – which is what you’ll turn into if you carry on like this.

Horse legs: A horse’s legs are built so it can sleep standing up. ‘Nuff said.

Float like a butterfly: At 3 A.M., when the taxi drivers have all gone off duty, wings could get you where you need to go.

Arms like a gorilla: Money’s tight – even the commissioning editors aren’t mailing home all those tapes and catalogs.

Elephant feet: Blisters be gone! The spongy cushions on the bottom of elephant feet would let producers trip the MIPs fantastic, comfortably.

Alligator skin: Because rejection is inevitable.

About The Author
Selina Chignall joins the realscreen team as a staff writer. Prior to working with rs, she covered lobbying activity at Hill Times Publishing. She also spent a year covering the Hill as a journalist with iPolitics. Her beat focused on youth, education, democratic reform, innovation and infrastructure. She holds a Master of Arts in Journalism from Western University and a Honours Bachelor of Arts from the University of Toronto.

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